Money Wasted
A man walks into a bar and asks the barman, 'Was I in here last night?'

'You certainly were,' replies the barman.

'And did I spend a lot of money?'

'You spent over £100', replies the barman.

'Thank god for that,' says the man, 'I thought I'd wasted it

Submitted by: Ciran Limbu
Address : Jorpati
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Local Man Vs Engineer
Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Perth.A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one question. The manager went up to Boudreaux and said "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the local man the job." Boudreaux said "Why you gonna be doin dat sir, we both got 9 questions right?"

The manager said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one you missed."

Boudreaux asked "An jus how da heck would one incorrect answer be mo betta dan da otter?"

The manager replied, "Simple, the local man put down on question #5, 'I don't know,' you put down, 'neither do I.'

Submitted by: Drew Garner
Address : Esher
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Whale and Dolphin
What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him???

I didn't do it on porpoise!!!

Submitted by: Ray
Address : Stanmore
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Cremate Me
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, "Now you have everything."

Submitted by: Kalash Jha
Address : New Baneshwore,Nepal
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Devil Egg
What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

Submitted by: Devindra Rai
Address : Kalanki
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